i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
