She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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