I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
