It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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