I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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