Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this beer tastes like vomit already
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize