It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
