So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
