oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
