If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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