google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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