Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
