People with herpes should wear stickers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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