i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
