am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I need a burrito and a hug.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
