Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
