If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
