Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
