I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
