he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
