I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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