I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
