I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
