i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
