...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
