Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
