chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
