I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize