people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
