We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
