the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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