i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
