i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
