Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
