Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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