No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
