Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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