Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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