That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize