Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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