Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
