Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
