I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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