i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
