He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
