Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
