Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
