shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
