batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He has the fingertips of a God
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