he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
we're so committed to being not committed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
