i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
