pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
birth control should be required to get into college
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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