I wish I could punch you in the face.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
