If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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