She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
