it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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