Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
