Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
