If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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