the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
