just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
