After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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