I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize