idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
