We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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