Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
