I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
