scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
