life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
