Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
