You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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