Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
