I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
